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Lawyer sues himself for choosing “world’s worst profession”


Lawyer sues himself for choosing “world’s worst profession”

The lawyers always win. Even when they’re losers.

NEW YORK, NY—Benjamin Lawlor, a partner at the prestigious Manhattan law firm Dewey Cheetham LLP, blames his alcoholism, drug addiction and a costly divorce on his chosen line of work and has filed a lawsuit against himself for selecting the “world’s worst profession.”

In his complaint, Lawlor alleges that his younger self was attracted to the prestige and earning potential of the legal profession and represented that despite long hours, stress and psychotic co-workers, “the rewards would far outweigh the costs.” Several years in to his practice, however, Lawlor found himself imbibing and taking cocaine on a daily basis to cope with the demands of his job.

For years, he managed to conceal his alcoholism and drug addiction, but after ten years of marriage, his spouse, Maryanne, filed for divorce. She walked away from the marriage with more than $6 million in assets, including a condo on the Upper East Side, and full custody of the couple’s two young children.

Lawlor’s civil lawsuit against himself alleges breach of contract, breach of fiduciary duty, fraudulent inducement and intentional infliction of emotional distress. He is seeking at least $3 million in damages.

Lawlor is defending himself against these allegations. “The allegations against my client are totally without merit and they will be vigorously defended,” he stated.

While Lawlor’s case has attracted attention because he is suing and defending himself, John Townson, a former District Judge in the United States District Court for the Eastern District of New York, told Daily Bamboo that the case is not as unusual as it might appear.

“In reality, the lawyers always win,” he explained. “That will be the outcome here too no matter which Lawlor prevails.”

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